The reading experiment

I've been telling folks that I haven't been reading lately. I used to read all the time, and always had about four or five books going at the same time - fiction, non-fiction, magazine article, online stuff. For the last four months - since shortly before my divorce - I simply quit reading.

Actually, that's not completely true. It's funny how some things are invisible to me... I've not stopped reading email, phone texts, and IM messages. Lots of that. So what I've stopped reading is the analog stuff - the paper, the old school documents, the father (reference to an apocryphal saying of a mental patient, who once mumbled about 'the white stuff, the father'). Books. I've quit reading books.

So, the last week or so, I've been making an extra effort to read books. That's a pretty amazing statement from me, a bibliophile, reader, writer, and general unabashed humanist. That I have to make an effort to read a book. Here's what I'm reading currently:

Sources of the Self: The Making of the Modern Identity by Charles Taylor. This is moral philosophy, which I am not generally interested in. I am reading it on the professional suggestion of a philosophy mentor of sorts.

The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien. I have the hardback edition illustrated by Ted Nasmith. It's mostly for the pictures, which are beautiful, but just the other day I read the tale Of Maeglin. Quite tragic and dark. Most of the Silmarillion is like that, actually.

Perdido Street Station by China Mieville. This is steam punk on a bad acid trip. Not usually my cup of tea, but it gets engrossing when I let it.

Guidance in Esoteric Training by Rudolf Steiner. Specifically the lecture titled "Concerning the Union of the Image with the Archetype."

New Moon by Stephenie Meyer. Sequel to Twilight. Yes, I know.

Meditations on the Tarot: A Journey into Christian Hermeticism by Anonymous.

Evolution of Consciousness: Studies in Polarity edited by Shirley Sugerman. Specifically the essay by Mary Caroline Richards titled "The Vessel and the Fire." Incredibly insightful.

Reading like this - with effort, deliberately, self-consciously - makes me feel like an invalid re-learning some basic physiological skill. I get frustrated easily. Maybe I need the 'reading skill' equivalent of a physical therapist?